Navigating the Holidays with an Eating Disorder
Throughout the ages, holidays have symbolized a period dedicated to connecting and celebrating with loved ones. Central to many holiday traditions are the shared, expansive meals that bring families and friends together. The roots of this tradition trace back thousands of years, particularly to ancient times when the winter solstice marked a significant moment of celebration.
As the days grew shorter and colder, communities would gather to partake in festive feasts, a collective observance of the sun's awaited return. These gatherings were not only expressions of joy but also acts of reverence towards the gods, serving as a heartfelt expression of gratitude for the year's harvest and abundance.
However, amid the joyous atmosphere that holidays bring, it's essential to recognize that for some, this time can evoke feelings of dread and the desire to avoid festivities altogether. For individuals grappling with an eating disorder, what should be a season of connection can unfortunately transform into a period of despair.
Eating disorders manifest in various forms, encompassing binge eating disorder, anorexia nervosa, and bulimia nervosa. Additionally, there are individuals grappling with a challenging relationship with food that may not neatly fit within the defined criteria of an eating disorder. This may manifest as an intense preoccupation with calorie consumption, often resulting in restrictive eating habits.
Navigating this complex landscape is further complicated by the pervasive influence of diet culture. Disentangling oneself from the overt messages that emphasize thinness can be a formidable task. Notably, the digital realm exacerbates this issue, with online articles and magazines targeting women containing a staggering ten times more diet-related content compared to those aimed at men. This stark contrast underscores the societal pressures that disproportionately affect individuals, particularly women, and contribute to the challenges surrounding body image and eating behaviors.
Across generations, the pervasive influence of diet culture has normalized discussions about weight to the extent that it feels as routine as conversing about the weather. In my mother's era, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, and rapid weight-loss fads were prevalent, shaping attitudes toward body image. The media consistently projected the "ideal" body through a lens of thinness, often casting individuals above a certain weight as the protagonist burdened by shame.
While there's a noticeable shift towards a more positive narrative around body acceptance and a departure from stringent diet culture, the impact of years of societal conditioning lingers, affecting many of us today. Breaking free from these deeply ingrained norms remains a ongoing journey for individuals navigating the complexities of body image and self-acceptance.
Here are some suggestions to gracefully navigate the potentially awkward discussions about weight during the upcoming holiday season.
Enhance your holiday gathering by introducing a card game to the mix. One of my current favorites is crafted by the esteemed writer and therapist Esther Perel. What sets this game apart is its ability to engage players in thought-provoking discussions on a variety of topics. It not only serves as a source of fun but also offers a unique opportunity to delve deeper into the lives of your family or friends as you play.
I had the pleasure of experiencing this game at a recent dinner party, and it proved to be an excellent way to learn more about my new friends without straying from the comfort of casual conversation. If you're looking to add a touch of meaningful interaction to your holiday festivities, consider trying out "Where Should We Begin - a Game of Stories."
Bring a few movies to watch as a family or pick some out ahead of time on a streaming service. By picking out the movies beforehand, you can reduce the likelihood that it falls into the thin/fat trope.
Talk to your family ahead of time and set boundaries around discussing your weight. Navigating this conversation can feel awkward or even scary for some. However, clearly stating that you do not want to talk about the latest diets or weight can help avoid a potentially uncomfortable conversation later.
Bring a dish to share with your family or friends that you feel comfortable eating.
Cope ahead. Take a few days before the gathering to focus on self-care. Plan something revitalizing for yourself after your holiday gathering, either that night or the next day.
Be aware of your triggers, and create a plan to self-soothe in the moment.
Wherever you are in your healing journey, just know you are not alone.