What to talk about in therapy
Often I hear my clients tell me they don’t know what to talk about in session. It may be their first experience with therapy. Or it may be that they feel something is off but just don’t know how to express why that is. I have compiled a list of potential therapy discussion topics.
Family of Origin
Your caregivers lay your foundational blueprint for how to be a human. Some people are raised by parents, some by grandparents, aunts, uncles, or a variety of caregivers. The saying, “you are who you hang with” is a simplified explanation of social learning theory. Individuals model the communication styles and behaviors of their caregivers and peers. When discussing family of origin it is important to reflect on your caregivers conflict resolution style, affection, and values. Your developmental years are the window into your own behaviors and attachment styles.
Previous Romantic Relationships
How often have you thought about past loves, and how often had you had the opportunity to dive deep into these relationships? Reflecting on any past relationships that were emotionally or sexually significant can lend to identifying patterns. We learn through experience, both positive and negative. Past romantic relationships serve as a growth opportunity when viewed objectively.
Current Romantic Relationship
What does intimacy look like in your relationship and how do you express your needs? Can you reflect on what your relationship looked like in the beginning, and can you make sense of how it has changed? If there is currently distress in your relationship, can you identify how you have contributed to the relationship difficulties?
Future Goals and Aspirations
Maybe you really need someone to keep you accountable and to be your cheerleader. If you are looking for someone to work with you on a future oriented growth plan, then a Life Coach may be the perfect fit for you.
Being Successful in Therapy
The best results happen when you’re committed to following through with suggested solutions and keeping up with any recommended reading. In other words, we can help get you to where you’re trying to go if you’re ready and willing to bring full engagement to the process. Clients that have success in therapy often value engaging in their work between sessions, as well as when they’re in the therapy room. We believe in the 80/20 rule - 20% of the work happens in session but 80% happens on your own time with the way you are actively living your life and the skills and perspectives you are learning.
Embracing Discomfort
Your therapist only knows what you report to them, so we are trusting you to be as honest as possible. We know how hard and uncomfortable it can be to be fully transparent about things that are causing pain, so your therapist will always support you in how to be both truthful and tactful about it. In therapy, there are no quick fixes. It is likely that at some point in your therapy work, you’ll be stretching your ability to sit in discomfort and engage in some vulnerable conversations. Your therapist is here to challenge you where appropriate to help facilitate change, which can feel difficult sometimes. We will always build trust with you first (you have to feel safe to fully trust, after all!) and we’ll also offer skills or support to you around getting effectively uncomfortable. Discomfort always feels more useful when you are choosing it, rather than feeling obligated or forced into it by others.